There’s a new phrase in town, and it’s making the rounds. In fact, the Unicorn Mom trend is spreading quickly, because so many women recognize themselves. Finally, something “I” can relate to, you think. If you’ve ever spent an afternoon perusing through Pinterest and all the perfect pictures, you can start to feel a bit overwhelmed at being so, well, underwhelming.
Does everybody make perfect little cut-out sandwiches for their kids, and pack adorable Bento boxes full of ideal, healthy snacks? And there you are slapping together a quick PB & J sandwich for the kids, and fine you’ll cut off the crust—if you have to?
Here’s the thing, it’s easy to compare ourselves to everyone else in the age of social media. We start to believe everyone has it together—except us. Truth is, there are a lot more “Unicorn Moms” out there than you realize, and they’re ready to be heard. What is a Unicorn Mom?
A Unicorn Mom is a less than perfect mom that’s doing it their way, not afraid to laugh, have fun, and might enjoy a glass of wine or two at the end of the day. She’s not worried about what you think, because she’s over it. She’s over the constant comparison game, over the need to be perfect, and is totally accepting that she’s…gasp…human.
There’s Perfection in Imperfection
Don’t you get tired of the Fudgie-McJudgie-Pants women with one too many opinions about your life? The key focus there is YOUR life. You get to decide what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and it’s not anybody’s business but yours.
Before we go completely overboard here, let’s keep things in perspective. We’re always about keeping intent in mind. Treating people well is important. We’re not talking about being less than nice. We’re talking about other details.
But, just because you are a Unicorn Mom doesn’t mean you don’t put your kids first. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It simply means you’re done bowing to the pressure of others telling you that you need to do things “one way” only.
We get one life to live. If something makes you happy and it doesn’t harm anyone, then why not do it? Unicorn Moms aren’t afraid of enjoying life a little, laughing out loud, and sometimes even at something that might seem off, but you know what…that’s life. We have to be able to relax, laugh at ourselves, and relieve that pent-up mom stress we all hit time to time.
Stop apologizing for being yourself, having a little fun, enjoying a grown-up drink at the end of the night, and not making perfectly shaped pancakes with adorable little pictures on them made out of cut up fruit, perfectly placed raisins or chocolate chips, and beautifully hand-sculpted butter. It’s okay. Cereal does the job, too.
Isn’t it a Shame that Shaming Became Trendy?
The internet is a curse and blessing all at the same time. It’s a great tool for communication, having access to information, and entertainment. At the same time, we’re picking up some habits that are kind of…rude. Not everyone, but you know the set, the group that are quick to judge, quick to shame you for not doing something “their” way.
Oh, did you not set aside 3 weeks to hand-sew a perfect Halloween costume? Do you not love your child? Oh, please, your kid can have just as much fun in a Walmart special boxed costume and plastic pumpkin as the kid in the $200 extravaganza costume. A lot of the time, it’s not even about the kids, but about the parents trying to show off to other parents. Aren’t we above that? What is this, high school all over again?
Who hasn’t eaten the Easter candy before Easter, only having to rush out and get a new chocolate Easter bunny before anybody noticed? Oh. Right. Yeah. Nope. Not me. Never did that. Okay, maybe once.
Just stop for a few moments next time you’re ready to make a snide comment because another mom chooses to do something differently. It’s time to lift each other up, celebrate our differences, and laugh together instead of at each other.
Aren’t you tired of worrying what everybody else thinks? It’s time to accept that humans are, well, human. It’s time to stop trying to please everybody, and start pleasing yourself. Who cares if you want to have fun and laugh at something others might not find funny? They aren’t walking in your shoes. It’s okay if you want to have “me” time more than once a year. It’s not selfish, it’s healthy.
Laugh a little and heal your body, mind, and soul.
Let’s face it, raising kids can be exhausting, messy, and trying at times. It’s okay to admit. We’re all thinking it anyway.
Comparing yourself to others will only drain you, because you’ll start to focus on everything you’re not. Instead, celebrate everything you are. Celebrate your uniqueness, your ability to laugh when life throws stress your way, and that you can be silly and have fun. Stop taking life so damn seriously, and enjoy yourself.
Oh, and one more thing. It’s okay to admit you’re bored when your child is watching their favorite show. It’s made for a five-year-old, not moms. You don’t have to love it. Don’t love reading a book before bedtime? Sing a song. If that’s what makes you both happy, then go for it. Create your own routines.
Just be a mom, a mom who loves her family and is happy. Your kids will thank you, and thrive because you taught them that joy isn’t a dirty word.
Quick Questions Worth Asking Yourself
Are you doing something, because you feel like it’s expected of you? Maybe it’s time to tackle those people-pleasing habits, and free yourself from that burden.
Do you strive for more, but worry others will think your focus is in the wrong place? What will make you happy? What goals have you been putting off, because of what others would think?
Do you find yourself plagued with mom guilt because you think about doing things for yourself? Doing things for yourself is not selfish. Self-care is an important part of taking care of your well-being.
Do you feel overwhelmed or burdened that you can’t keep up with all the other moms you see doing things perfectly on Instagram or Pinterest? Maybe it’s time to tune-down the social media and take a break from comparing yourself to everybody else.
When it’s all said and done, there’s no one right way to do things. There are simply ways that work for you and your family, and if they aren’t the same path everyone else is taking, that’s okay. Live a little, laugh a little, and let go of the internal stress you place on yourself feeling like you’re not doing enough, you’re not enough, or you can’t keep up. This isn’t a race. This is your life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kelly Hater has over 15 years of coaching experience along with a B.S. in Health Promotion specialized in Exercise Science.
She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout, providing a clear, decisive plan that leads her clients on a path of success. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming struggles herself. Get the accountability needed to take action. As a mom of two she gets it! BOOK A FREE CALL