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The “Me Time” Battle

How to make “me time” a priority in motherhood?

A mother’s time is sacred. There is nothing more precious than her time because time is finite and fleeting. There is no way to make more time. Everyone gets the same 24 hours each day, which is exactly why there are people who live and die by the saying.

“Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable”- phrase by author Eric Jerome Dickey.

Time management and adhering to a schedule by being on time is one way we show respect for others. Ever heard someone you know use the excuse, “I ran out of time.” I hear this excuse all the time in the gym. Someone wants to get in shape, but they can’t find time in their schedule. It’s a legitimate problem that requires some attention and focused problem solving from someone like The Mom Coach™. Scheduling for a mom can be quite a headache because a mom’s schedule can change in an instant.

For example, a mom could suddenly find themselves in an emergency room on a Saturday afternoon with a child who broke his arm from falling out of a neighborhood tree. I know a mom who had this happen to her, because that mom was me. Then when getting home I needed to nurse my daughter. As moms, we just never know what a day will throw at us. These exact situations turn us into resilient moms.

Perhaps that’s why so many moms struggle with high levels of stress and anxiety. Even though mom’s make a schedule, we can’t fully predict the future, which ultimately means we have far less control than we hope for in life. This is the exact reason why understanding the circle of control will instantly reduce stress. It's very unnerving and requires unrelenting amounts of emotional and mental flexibility. Exhaustion ensues for a mom whether she stays at home or works outside the home.

“If you’re serious about changing your life you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.” -- Jen Sincero

“Me Time” for moms

Us moms like to have some semblance of control over our lives even throughout motherhood. There is one thing about a mom's schedule that she can control. A mom can take (and most certainly deserves to take) an amount of time in which she does something purely for her own enjoyment. This so-called “me time” is extraordinarily valuable to a mom. It’s too easy to forget that mom’s are so much more than just moms. They are also women with unique personalities, interests, hobbies, goals and needs. I know it may come as a shock, but yes, moms need things too. Our gas tank does not refill itself. Just like everyone else, moms have to intentionally refill their tanks so they aren’t running on fumes. Mommy me time can be just the thing a mom needs to refuel her tank. We cannot give to others what we do not have ourselves. Sometimes, it’s not just mom who needs me time; dads and honestly, all other humans including youth, can also benefit from a solid dose of me time on a regular basis. “Me Time” is essential to show self-respect to ourselves.

Importance of “Me Time” for moms

  • Builds self-awareness, self-clarity, and self-purpose in life

  • Decreases stress

  • Balances the 8 dimensions of wellness. We need to fuel our wheel of life. The wellness wheel of life is an important tool in helping us see where we lack balance in our life.

  • Leading by example for your children

  • Avoid mommy burnout: allows mom to be the mom they want to be.

  • The Happy and Fun Mom

  • Me time is a must to live life in your “optimal zone

How to get self-disciplined with “me time”?

Start with showing yourself self-respect. By giving yourself 15 minutes a day to unwind from the beautiful chaos of life with no distractions is the first step. With those 15 minutes you dedicate your mind to you and your needs as you build self-awareness. You owe yourself the power of focus.

If you are not ready to sit down for this deep thinking. This can come in the form of silence when doing the dishes for example. When cleaning up toys or vacuuming is another great option. Instead of getting frustrated by the mess. Picking up the house can get your “steps” in for the day and it is a mindless activity that allows you to think. By this simple mindset shift you decrease stress and become more aware. Or perform a brain dump when your to-do list starts to feel overwhelming.

Now that you are thinking about yourself you have a little more clarity of your needs, wants, and desires.

  • Are you wanting change? Without making time for ourselves, there is no growth. With no growth there can be no change. What you don’t change, you choose not to change.

  • Shift to a business mindset: A way of thinking that enables you to uncover and see problems as opportunities, and then turning those opportunities into a thriving family.

  • Success ripple: Follow the Leader. You are the stone being thrown into the water. Everyone will ripple because of you.

  • Understanding Opportunities: How do you waste time? Track the amount of time you spend on social media or the TV binges. Does this help you get to your goal?

Do you need to make “me time” a priority? Is your overall well-being out of balance? Ask yourself these questions:

  • How are your stress levels?

  • Do you feel sad or lonely?

  • Do you have a strong sense of self identity?

  • Are you happy?

  • How are your relationships with your family and friends?

  • Do you have goals you haven’t met and you are stuck?

How do I get this “me time”?

You ask for help! You ask your spouse, a dear friend. A local community center that has child care.

Let’s be honest, what if you ask for me time and get it… woohoo! Then what? Do you then feel lost? This is normal for many mothers. How do you get the most out of this “me time”!

Achieve "me time" goals with The Mom Coach™ on-demand

Setting goals can help make “me time” a priority. Since mom’s schedules get pulled and tugged in every direction constantly, finding an accountability partner to help with your goals will help. You can solicit help from your spouse or a close friend or better yet join The Mom Coach™ on-demand community for professional support. When you have to check-in with a professional life coach regularly you’re more likely to follow through on your goals. Especially when the goals are deliberately ambitious, stretch goals such as squeezing in more things to do in your precious schedule.

Why do you think everyone in the Olympics has a coach? Coaches help us achieve a level of performance that is outside our comfort zones. They provide external motivation and accountability. An accountability partner helps you through difficult moments when you lose focus, or feel overwhelmed. Accountability partners help us achieve goals. Achieving a goal feels amazing. Even just the tiniest of goals can bring fulfillment. For example, if we set a goal to make the bed every morning and we are able to achieve that goal even if it is just a few days a week, each day that we can climb back into our nicely made bed at the end of the day, we’ll be reminded that we accomplished at least one productive thing that day-- we made our bed.

Or are you completely aimless? Or do you live in your circle of concern? Or are you needing a mindset shift? Or is fear holding you back?

The Mom Coach™ on-demand is a life changing program for every mom. No matter what is holding your back. Which is probably yourself!

How to make mommy “me time” a priority

Moms rarely prioritize themselves. Everyone else goes first. Anyone the mom who cooks a gourmet meal, but by the time she gets a plate of food it was cold or there was none left? Why is that? Some mom’s naturally enjoy nurturing others. These individuals also need to nurture themselves.

Start with self-awareness.

Mommy me time is in no way, shape, or form selfish. Let’s just knock those mom guilt feelings right out of the ballpark right now. Me time doesn’t have to be everyday, or require a lot of money. It can take many forms. One mom friend I have recently requested one 24 hour periodic “me time” every quarter of the year. During her 24 hour time away, she is alone. She focuses on just herself and only does things she likes to do and derives a great amount of joy. This method is not for me but it works for her. I enjoy at least 2 workouts a week with no distractions. I have the honor of lifting with a good friend. I check off several wellness dimensions from one activity.

✓ social wellness

✓ physical wellness

✓ mental wellness

All moms deserve some time for themselves. We need time to process our triumphs and tribulations. Without it we may find ourselves drowning in all the unexpected emotions.

You Are Worth It

The key to scheduling and following through on mommy “me time” is believing the fact that you are indeed worth it. Focused “me time” not only helps your mental health; but it also will benefit all of the people in your life. It definitely may seem backwards, or even selfish to think that your duty to yourself should come before your duties to others, but in fact if you do not take care of yourself, your ability to take care of others is compromised.

Yet changing your mindset as it comes parallel with others. No one is before or behind another. We grow together from self into family. Let’s not go off the deep end and become self-absorbed, but let’s recognize that scheduling mommy “me time” catapults us two steps forward not one step back. You will see long term benefits for yourself and those you love. You Are Worth It! Transcend in Motherhood! Prior to transcending you must acknowledge self-actualization.

I challenge you to sign-up for The Mom Coach™ on-demand. You get access to the proven program that will catapult yourself, your goals, and your dreams… into reality. Enjoy the free trial period then only $19 a month. You also get access to our monthly wellness challenges from pelvic floor bootcamp to overcome mommy brain. And much more! The program that saved me personally. The program that transformed my weakness into strength.


About the Author

Kelly Hater, owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience. She is a National Strength and Conditioning Association Certified Personal Trainer (NSCA-CPT) and has a bachelor's degree in Health Promotion from the University of Cincinnati.

She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout by empowering them to stop existing and start living. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming mom struggles herself and has first hand experience. Kelly gives her clients the accountability and support they need to take action. Go Join NOW The Mom Coach™ “on demand” for the proven program, monthly challenges, journal entries and more.

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