15 Habits of a Successful Mom
Good habits help moms be and feel successful. Check out these 15 habits of successful moms that will help you achieve success too.
Every mom has their own unique version of what success looks like in their life. In fact if you think about it, being a mom is a journey that does not have a final destination. No one hands moms a map with directions when we are discharged from the hospital with a newborn baby. Moms are literally and figuratively pushed out the hospital door with well wishes. Unpacking from the hospital stay after labor and delivery is numbing because the thrill of pregnancy is over and yet the 4th trimester only just began. The goal of achieving success in your new job as a mom is daunting to say the least.
The thing about being a successful mom is that one mom’s map to success in motherhood does not look anything like another mom’s map to success. What even is success in motherhood anyway? Does success mean that you breastfeed for 12 months or more? Does it mean that you maintain a job outside the home full time? Or does success in motherhood mean that all your children graduate from a 4 year college? There is no firm definition of success for a mom from external sources. Success for a mom comes from within her own mind, body and soul.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines success as the following:
suc·cess \sək-’ses (noun)
1 : the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame
2 : the correct or desired result of an attempt
3 : someone or something that is successful: a person or thing that succeeds in accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
The discrepancy between each of the 3 success definitions in the dictionary is vast and the reality is that even in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary one’s success does not look like others. It’s really easy to get sucked into the temptation to compare, contrast and even go great lengths to compete with other moms in order to feel successful. Using comparison to wade through life's ebbs and flows is a road that leads to nowhere or worse, it can lead to bad habits. The stunning thing is that much of what we do is actually determined not by our decisions, but by our habits. If our actions are led by habit, then by simply replacing bad habits with good habits our life can look and feel completely new and different. Most moms could probably agree that motherhood helped them learn new habits. Perhaps one way a mom could feel successful is to have good habits.
“If you believe you can change - if you make it a habit - the change becomes real.” - Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
15 Good Habits of Successful Moms
Good habits help moms be and feel successful. Check out these 15 habits of successful moms that might help you achieve success too.
Establish a routine
Routines provide structure and they are important when establishing priorities. Routines help us track our productivity. Set up a routine for you personally, mom. You are worthy of your own personal schedule. Remember who you were pre-kids. Didn’t you maintain a schedule for yourself at that time in your life? Yup! Don’t forget to create a separate routine for your kids and family. Let’s face it, they need your help.
Avoid drawing comparisons.
You be you and let everyone else be themselves too. Stop drawing comparisons to every other mom out there. If we base our self-worth on whether we win or lose then there is going to be a whole lot of disappointment in our lives.
Make time for your own physical health
Exercise, eat right, get enough sleep. Enough said. Prioritize "me time". If you can’t do this on your own or don’t know how then hire someone to help you. The financial investment in your physical health will pay dividends in the future.
Be efficient
Touch something once and be done with it. Don’t move it around 5 times before your task is complete. Procrastination is a dark rabbit hole and it can leave you with way too many unfinished projects, wasted money and stuff that clutters your house. Just get it done the first time, correctly and be done with it.
Play with your kids
The mom hustle can bog us down with parental business that is very uninteresting to our children. Sometimes it’s refreshing for you and your children to just play together. Grab a Frisbee and toss it around. Play Uno with them. Show your kids how to hula hoop or do double dutch jump rope with them. In case you’re wondering, watching a movie together doesn’t count as playing.
Invest time in your marriage
Children notice how you and your spouse interact. It’s important to demonstrate and model a healthy loving romantic relationship. If they don’t learn from you they will learn from someone or somewhere else.
Rise and shine and be productive
Your productivity in a day is directly proportional to how you spend your morning. Get up early and take advantage of the morning hours.
Hire a coach or two or three
It always, always, always helps to have support. Hiring a coach to be an impartial support system whose only agenda is to champion your goals and your success is invaluable to your journey to self-actualization. There are coaches for just about any type of life goal. Personal trainers for exercise goals, financial coaches for wealth planning, or a life coach to help you figure out what you want to do with your life.
Get a hobby
A mom who has hobbies and interests of her own is a mom who demonstrates self confidence. Through her actions she models the importance of independence, self reliance and goal setting. Pick something, anything! You’ve got this mom.
Trust your instincts
In motherhood there is no right or wrong. You are doing the best you can with the information you have at any given time. Go with your expert instincts because you and only you are your children's best caretaker.
Delegate
No single person can do everything for everyone all the time. Yes, you are a superhero, and even superheroes delegate on occasion. (i.e. batman and robin) Everyone has their strength so invite others into your space and let them contribute their strengths while you do the same. Everyone wants to feel needed and valued for their skills.
Prioritize sleep
Sleep is the backbone of health. Without adequate sleep we are more prone to unhealthy body weight, chronic stress, and depression. It’s an absolute necessity and sleep must take priority. Call in the troops for this one if it is a nagging problem.
Set boundaries for work and home
Our environments are sacred. It is our obligation to uphold boundaries that respect these sacred spaces. Create boundaries that support your goals and stand your ground. You are worth it.
Ask for help
To be successful we have to be willing to learn. Asking for help is one way we can learn new ideas and approaches to our goals. It’s a win-win situation.
Forgive yourself
The little things add up. The guilt, the impatience, mom rage, and the discontent with motherhood is all normal, real feelings. Make the effort to let it go and forgive ourselves for our mistakes and for setting impossible standards for ourselves.
Be proactive not reactive
There are certain things in life that we will not ever be able to control. For example you can’t control other people’s opinions, the weather, politics, what people think of you, the economy. However, there are things in life you can control. You have absolute control of your attitude, your education, your habits and hobbies, and your enthusiasm. When we are proactive we focus on the things we can control. When we are reactive, our focus shifts to things outside of our control and we end up complaining about our circumstances.
Once you can express yourself, you can tell the world what you want from it. All the changes in the world, for good or evil, were first brought about by words. - Jackie Kennedy
What do you want out of life, mom?
Moms who understand the importance of healthy habits live fulfilling lives. Even the mom who seems to have the most efficient, healthy habits still may feel unsuccessful. One of the most important things about success in motherhood and in life is to remember that in order to be or feel successful you have to know what you want first. Once a mom knows what she wants, the map to get where she wants to go becomes more vivid, more direct and more fun. Do you know what you want? If you don’t know what you want right now that's okay. Your success may simply start with adding healthy habits of successful moms to your daily regiment.
About the Author
Kelly Hater, owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience. She is a National Strength and Conditioning Association Certified Personal Trainer (NSCA-CPT) and has a bachelor's degree in Health Promotion from the University of Cincinnati.
She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout by empowering them to stop existing and start living. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming mom struggles herself and has first hand experience. Kelly gives her clients the accountability and support they need to take action. Go Join NOW The Mom Coach™ “on demand” for the proven program, monthly challenges, journal entries and more.
References:
Yin, H., Knowlton, B. The role of the basal ganglia in habit formation. Nat Rev Neurosci 7, 464–476 (2006). https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn1919
Delude, C.M. Brain researchers explain why old habits die hard. Oct. 19, 2005. https://news.mit.edu/2005/habit Accessed on Sept. 14, 2021.