Thank you for living the life you know you deserve. You inspire me to be more, want more and take action. You are not just existing, you are living your life to its fullest potential. You are a role model to your children, your spouse, your parents, your co-workers, my children, other women, and mothers who not only need, but crave to be in the midst of bold, strong, and passionate women.
I know being ambitious is not the easy road. It’s not easy to take risks. When you take risks, you could fail, which is certainly not an easy experience for a tired mom juggling lots of priorities. I commend you for viewing failure as an opportunity. It challenges you to be resilient and the more adversity you face the better you are at bouncing back from it. By demonstrating your own resilience, your children are also learning how to be resilient. Teaching your children resilience is critical because it is the foundation for how they will solve problems throughout their life. Will they get back up and try again or will they wallow in their own self pity? Because of your effort and example, your children will be more able to roll with the punches.
The thing that I love most about you, an ambitious mom, is that when you get knocked down you aren’t afraid to keep trying. You aren’t afraid of adversity, even though facing adversity is difficult and exhausting. When fatigue sets in you just keep on swimming. You phone a friend or call in help and delegate tasks. Oh, and by the way, it’s okay to delegate tasks. Ambitious moms, like yourself, know the benefit of having a village. Even though you delegate tasks, such as childcare or meal planning, your success can be found by the success of people you surround yourself with. When the people in your support system are successful, so are you. You lift them up and they lift up you. Living life takes a village so lean in and embrace the love that surrounds you.
I know that society makes you feel too ambitious, too driven, too busy, too career oriented, too bossy. That leaves you feeling guilty. You may even tell yourself that you are the worst mom in the world. You tell yourself that your children hate you or your husband hates you. This is just your guilt talking. Trust me when I say this, please. They do not hate you. They love you unconditionally. Your family may feel disappointed that you can’t spend time with them on Sunday because you have a big presentation to prepare for on Monday. They probably prefer your homemade meals to takeout dinner from the local fast food joint. Their feelings are temporary and they will forgive you. They just want to be in your presence because you are so awesome. It’s a compliment. I know it makes you feel guilty, but the fact is that you can’t be in two places at once. You may be a really good multi-tasker, but no one is THAT good. It’s more efficient to focus on one task at a time. So the next time you call home to tell them you’ll be home late because you aren’t finished with your big presentation and they tell you to stay as long as you need and finish the work before you come home, trust that they are telling you that because they love you and not because they hate you for having a job. I’m sure you’d rather be with your kids than work on a Sunday, but the work you’re doing is helping you inch closer to the healthy happy retirement you’re chasing. Your future self is going to thank you for putting in the work now to create a life you love even though it comes with some sacrifices.
No mom out there can live up to the unrealistic portrayals of motherhood. It’s not real life. It’s Instagram. It’s staged. It’s a 10 second tik-tok video that was captured only after 50 failed attempts. Maybe you can’t be the perfect mom everyday, but you can on some of the days and when you are able to be fully present with your children and your spouse, you are. You rock at quality time because you, more than anyone else, know that quality time with your children is precious and fleeting. Your goal oriented brain helps you organize time so that when you do snatch moments of quality time you are able to laser focus on who you are with and what you are doing. You make the most of whatever time you get. Your children need your undivided attention more than anything else in the world and when you can give it to them you do and that’s enough. You are enough.
Since when did the desire and determination to achieve success and have career goals become a negative persona? Does having a baby immediately categorize you as a goal-less, uninteresting person? Mom’s are absolutely interesting people. In fact, wouldn’t you agree that most of the moms you know are smart, strong willed, quick thinkers, resourceful problem solvers, team players, witty, hard working, devoted, and kind? Every mom, including you, deserves her own dreams. I salute you and your ambition. You are risking it all to show us how to live the life you love. You are a rock-star!
Cheers to living the life you love,
The Mom Coach™
“Start Living, Stop Existing”
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